Hi, it’s me.
I missed you and I hope you missed me too.
‘Lynn in 2020, freefall. 2020, iridescence. 2020, a higher love in and of all things‘
That was one of the last things I wrote to you and my goodness has 2020 been a freefall year in everyway. There’s literally been nothing to do but trust that this too shall pass.
Even though I’ve been MIA I’ve thought of you often. This website was the birth of a hope and a dream and this year was supposed to be the time where I really nurtured it so that it could grow into everything I conceived it to be…didn’t work out that way.
You see, one minute I was in D.C living my best life and I feel like in a split second the world spun on its axis.
I’ve been immersing myself in my work and one of the biggest reiterations is that self-care is really not just a ‘one and done’ thing but has to be a constant and a way of life.
I failed in that within the first few weeks. I don’t know that I’ve outright mentioned it in this medium before but I’m an Emergency Physician. Funny enough, the follow up to ‘The Rest Is Still Unwritten’ was actually a piece detailing the feelings that led me to make changes re work/life balance. Ironic. Truly.
Initially at the start of this pandemic I just didn’t do that properly. I worked 7-day weeks and stopped taking off days. When I wasn’t actively on the floor it was Zoom Meetings and protocols developments; nights filled with leisure reading were completely decimated and instead it was just COVID-19 reading. I made the decision to as much as I could separate myself from my family because to be honest, my biggest fear wasn’t and hasn’t been for myself but in keeping those I love safe.
But guess what? I crashed and burned. I became mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. The concept of this blog also crashed and burned. How could I inspire when I didn’t feel inspired outside of my work. I don’t even think I wanted to be inspired.
I admit that every little motivational page I started to scroll pass (I’d even venture to say I got irritated). Suddenly deep breathing and meditation weren’t important, exercise wasn’t important. The only thing that mattered was survival, work and sleep.
As we all navigate in whatever normal is for us in this time, I seek to find balance. Writing is my love, my passion…I have so much written from before, so many thoughts, so many ramblings, still to share with you…
…It’s time for me to resume this particular journey.
Be forewarned, the pace may be even slower than it was before, but at least I’m taking my foot off the brakes.
Time to return to some Queening!